Special Needs Birthday Parties

Posted by Kristina on 06 July 2011 in Be Informed, Special Needs | 0 comments

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When I was a kid I loved celebrating my birthday. I loved the company of other kids, the songs, the games, the presents, the cake. Each year my mom made me the same birthday cake: Marble cake, chocolate frosting, and M&Ms. I, fondly, remember some of my childhood birthday parties as if they happened just yesterday. Most kids are eager to celebrate their birthday. I see it, now, with my son’s friends. They send out party invitations, they get excited, they impatiently wait for the big day to arrive; and when it finally arrives they’re full of energy and smiles.

But, sometimes, with special needs kids, birthdays raise anxiety, and concern, and careful planning. In the past, for instance, my son hasn’t tolerated other people and noise well, so last year, when he turned three, we didn’t have a birthday party. Instead, we took a short vacation to St. Augustine, Florida, to visit family. This year, though, my son has progressed a lot developmentally, he enjoys his friends, and he understands how to open gifts, so we will be celebrating his fourth birthday with a party. The party will be very small, the time-frame will be short, we won’t sing, “Happy Birthday,” and we’ll offer GFCF pizza and cupcakes. Each special needs child is different, so each special needs child’s birthday needs to be considered differently. Overall, though, there are some things that one can keep in mind when planning a birthday celebration for a special needs kiddo…

Location—Typically, the location should be familiar to your child. This isn’t the time to introduce your child to a new place, full of unknowns. Have your child’s party at your home, the local park, or the local bowling alley. You may want to forego larger, over stimulating, venues. The location should have enough space for the children to move around and have fun. When choosing a space, be sure to consider the needs of those with physical disabilities.

Timing—Consider the length of the event. I live in Miami where birthday parties begin at noon and end at midnight, but this isn’t practical for a special needs child. A two hour party is sufficient. If your child understands visual cues, create a visual board that outlines the party’s sequence of events. Do not feel pressured to keep to a strict plan… Go with the flow.

Size—How many children and adults will be attending the party? If your child is easily overstimulated or anxious, consider having a very small party. Tell your child that he can invite three friends.

Sensory Issues—Many special needs children have sensory issues (e.g., visual stimuli, noise, touch), and it’s important to keep your child’s sensitivities in mind. Consider the venue’s lighting and noise level. If your child doesn’t like others singing, “Happy Birthday,” let your guests know, upon arrival, that you won’t be singing. If your child doesn’t like a lot of attention, let your guests know that you will be opening gifts at home, after the party ends (Remember to send thank you cards).

Food and Drinks—Many special needs children are on special diets. Make sure that everyone feels included and consider not only your child’s special diet, but the diets of other children that are attending the party. Order pizza and make GFCF pizza. Buy cupcakes and make GFCF cupcakes. Offer GFCF chips and cookies. Offer veggies and fruit.

Treat Bags—When making treat bags consider the appropriateness of the gifts. Do not include toys or candies that contain allergens or choking hazards. There are plenty of allergen-free and safe toys on the market to fill even the biggest goodie bag.

With appropriate planning, your child, his friends, and you can enjoy a special birthday for a special kid!